You are not every thought that crosses your mind; some are just old echoes looking for attention.

Much of what appears in your head is repetition rather than thinking. Old warnings, remembered criticisms, and the tone of people who are no longer in your life keep playing because they were rehearsed often enough to become automatic. They can sound like conclusions when they are really recordings. Recognising one as a recording changes what you owe it.

When a harsh thought shows up, ask whose voice it is in. Sometimes you will recognise it immediately, and the recognition takes most of its authority away. You still hear it, but you are no longer required to answer.