Your mindset changes when responsibility becomes more attractive than explanation.

Explanation is comfortable because it settles the question of blame and leaves everything else exactly where it was. Responsibility is uncomfortable at first because it hands you the work, and only later does it become obvious that it also hands you the controls. The shift happens when you notice that being right about why your life is stuck does nothing at all to unstick it. Then ownership starts to look like power rather than fault.

Take one situation you have a good explanation for and ask what would change if you acted as though it were yours to improve. Not yours to have caused, which is a different thing entirely. Just yours to work on from here.