The photograph of the celebration cannot show who felt relieved when it ended.

Group pictures record posture rather than experience. Everyone faces the camera at the same moment, and the frame cannot distinguish the person having the best night of the year from the person counting down to a taxi. Occasions are not uniform inside, however uniform they look afterwards.

If you find gatherings hard, plan your exit before you go and let yourself use it without apology. If you host, notice who is standing slightly outside the group and go and stand with them. And be careful about reading old photographs as proof that everyone was happy.