As those who believe in the visibility of ghosts can easily see them, so it is always easy to see repulsive qualities in those we despise and hate.

Once you have decided that someone is contemptible, your attention goes to work proving it. Every gesture gets read in the worst available light, and the proof feels like plain observation rather than something you manufactured. Conviction comes first and the evidence arrives afterwards. The people we dislike most are usually the people we understand least accurately.

Pick someone you have written off and try listing three things they did recently that a fair stranger would call ordinary or decent. If the list is hard to make, that difficulty is the point. You do not have to change your view, only to notice how little of it came from looking.