The easiest thing for our friends to discover in us, and the hardest thing for us to discover in ourselves, is that we are growing old.

Change in yourself is invisible from inside because you are present for every increment. Nothing looks different day to day, and the picture you carry of yourself was taken some years ago and never updated. Other people, who see you at intervals, notice at once. This applies to more than ageing: to habits that have hardened, to energy that has shifted.

Ask someone who knows you well what has changed in you over five years, and do not defend anything while they answer. Take it as information rather than as a verdict. Then decide what to adjust and what to accept with reasonable grace.