Let us be of good cheer, however, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which never come.

Much of the suffering in an ordinary life is rehearsal for events that never arrive. The mind runs the disaster in detail, complete with the phone call and the faces, and you pay the full price without any of the resolution a real event eventually brings. Actual trouble is usually more bearable than its preview, partly because it arrives with things to do.

When you catch yourself rehearsing, write the feared thing down in one line and note what you would actually do first if it happened. That turns a loop into a plan, and a plan can be set aside until it is needed.