It is a difficult thing for a man to resist the natural necessity of mortal passions.

Strong feeling is part of the equipment rather than a defect you can decide your way out of. Anger, desire, fear and grief arrive without permission, and expecting yourself to be above them mostly produces shame on top of whatever you were already feeling. What you can govern is the gap between the feeling and the action.

Stop trying not to feel things and put the effort into that interval instead. Delay the message, walk once round the block, sleep before answering. The feeling will do what it does, and the twenty minutes are yours.