He who is bent on doing evil can never want occasion.

Someone determined to do harm will always find a pretext, and the pretext is not the reason. Arguing with the stated grievance is therefore mostly wasted effort, because if you remove it another will be produced within the week. What you are dealing with is an intention wearing a justification.

When someone’s complaints keep changing while the hostility stays the same, stop negotiating with the complaints. Deal instead with what you can control: distance, limits, records, and who else knows. Save your explaining for people acting in good faith.