Vices that are familiar we pardon, and only new ones reprehend.

Familiarity does most of the work in moral judgement. A fault you have seen a hundred times reads as character, while the same fault in an unfamiliar form reads as outrage. This is why a group can tolerate something serious among its own and be scandalised by something minor from outside.

Test one of your strong reactions this week by asking whether the behaviour is genuinely worse or simply unfamiliar. Then run it the other way and name a thing you have stopped noticing in the people around you, or in yourself. Long tolerance is not the same as approval, and it is worth checking which one you have given.