Watching someone else have the thing you wanted is its own pain. It is not quite envy, because you may genuinely wish them well, and it is not quite grief, because nothing was taken from you. It is the sight of a life you can see clearly and cannot enter, and the clarity is what stings. Being glad for them and sore for yourself at the same time is an ordinary state, not a character flaw.

When it happens, let both feelings exist without ranking them. Then move your attention from what they have to what you would need to do, since the comparison tells you what you want.