The only way to tell the truth is to speak with kindness. Only the words of a loving man can be heard.

Accurate words delivered with contempt rarely land as accurate. The listener spends their attention defending against the tone, and the content goes nowhere, which means a harsh truth-teller often fails at the very thing they claim to value. Kindness is not a softening of the message; it is what lets the message through. Nor does it require vagueness, since you can be entirely clear while making it obvious you are on the person’s side.

Before the next hard conversation, ask what you actually want the other person to hear, as distinct from what you want to have said. Then choose the words that give that sentence the best chance of arriving.