Stop making promises to yourself in language you would never tolerate from someone unreliable.

Listen to the way you talk to yourself about what you will do differently. If a person you barely trusted spoke to you in that tone, all threats and grand declarations and contempt, you would not believe a word of it, and you would be right not to. Promises made in that register have a poor record, because pressure and disgust are not materials that hold anything up for long.

Try saying the next intention the way you would say it to a friend you respect and expect to succeed. Make it smaller and more specific, and drop the punishment clause. The commitments that survive tend to be the ones spoken plainly by someone who assumes you are worth being decent to.