Life must be a constant education one must learn everything, from speaking to dying.

Nothing arrives already known, including the things we assume are instinctive. Speaking well takes years, and so do grief, illness and the eventual business of leaving. Nobody is born knowing how to meet them, so finding them hard is not a personal failing but the ordinary position of a learner.

It is gentler and more accurate to see them as things you are still learning. Ask who has been through what you are facing now, and what they came to understand along the way. Learning here is not mastery. It is arriving with slightly less confusion than you would otherwise have had.