If life must not be taken too seriously, then so neither must death.

Treating life with a light touch while treating death with dread creates an odd imbalance. If you can laugh at the absurdities of living, the ending belongs to the same mixture of comedy and tragedy, not to a separate category of pure solemnity. Many people have found that laughter at a funeral does not dishonour the dead but helps the living stay close to who that person was.

If you are grieving, none of this asks you to take your loss lightly. It may simply give permission, when a funny memory arrives, to let yourself laugh. Lightness and love are not opposites, and a laugh that comes from remembering someone is still a way of loving them.