A controlled fire can build; an uncontrolled fire merely spreads.

The same energy either does work or does damage, and the difference is entirely in the containment. Fire inside an engine moves things. The identical fire outside it just consumes whatever is nearby. Your intensity is the same substance, and the structures you put around it, the timing, the rules, the people you have agreed to check with, are what make it productive.

Ask what container your intensity currently has. If the answer is none, that is worth building rather than trying to feel less strongly. Set a rule about when you act on strong feeling, and let the strength itself stay exactly as it is.