Cruelty and fear travel together, which explains a good deal about people who are hard to be around. Whoever needs to make others small is usually managing something in themselves, and the harshness is a way of getting ahead of an expected attack. Understanding that is not the same as excusing it, and the damage is identical either way.

Two uses follow. When someone is cruel to you it tells you more about their state than about your worth, and holding that makes it easier not to absorb. And when you notice yourself going sharp, ask what you are afraid of just then, because there is usually an answer.