An honest man speaks the truth, though it may give offence; a vain man, in order that it may.

There is a difference between telling the truth and enjoying the damage. Honesty sometimes costs someone comfort, and a person who cares about accuracy accepts that cost without going looking for it. Vanity uses the same words for the opposite reason: the sting is the point, and the truth is only the permission slip. You can usually tell them apart by what the speaker does with the silence afterwards.

Before you say the hard thing, check what you are hoping will happen. If part of you wants to watch it land, wait. Say it when you want it understood rather than felt.