I won’t undertake war until I have tried all the arts and means of peace.

Force is not wrong in every case, but it is expensive, and it belongs last rather than first. Most conflicts escalate because escalation is quicker than patience, not because the quieter options were tried and failed. Exhausting everything else first is a discipline, not a softness. It also means that if you do fight, you know exactly why.

Think of the disagreement you are carrying right now. Ask what you have genuinely tried: a direct conversation, a plain question, an offer that costs you something. Do one of those before you do anything harder.