The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

Comedy tends to grow out of the places that hurt. A joke works because it names something painful and then refuses to be crushed by it, which is why the funniest people are often the ones who have had the most to survive. Nothing that is already perfect needs laughing at. Humor is a repair, not a decoration.

If you find yourself making jokes about one particular part of your life, notice which part. That is usually where the ache is. You do not have to stop joking, though it may be worth saying the plain version once, to someone who will hear it.