To bear with patience wrongs done to oneself is a mark of perfection, but to bear with patience wrongs done to someone else is a mark of imperfection and even of actual sin.

Enduring a slight against yourself is your own business, and there is a real strength in letting it pass. Calm about harm done to someone else is a different thing entirely, though it can wear the same face. What looks like composure is often just distance, or the comfort of not being the one hurt. Patience becomes a way of siding with whoever is doing the harm.

When something wrong happens in front of you, ask whose peace your silence is protecting. If it is only your own, that is worth knowing. Speaking up can be small: a question asked out loud, a name said, a refusal to laugh along.