We often pretend to fear what we really despise, and more often despise what we really fear.

Contempt and fear wear each other’s clothes. Calling something dangerous sounds more respectable than admitting you simply find it distasteful, so dislike dresses itself up as caution. The reverse runs deeper: when something genuinely frightens you, scorn is the cheaper feeling to hold, because contempt lets you look down at what you are actually looking up at.

When a strong reaction arrives, sit with it a moment before acting on it. Ask whether you are avoiding this thing or belittling it, and what the other answer would mean. The feeling you are least willing to name is usually the accurate one.