Security allows you to enter rooms without mentally ranking everyone.

Walking into a room and immediately sorting everyone by status is exhausting, and it is a symptom rather than a strategy. When you are not worried about your own place, other people become individuals rather than positions on a scale, and the room becomes far easier to be in. The ranking was never giving you useful information anyway.

At your next gathering, notice the sorting when it starts and deliberately turn your attention to one person’s actual words. See how much more you learn. The habit fades with practice.