Racing somebody in another lane is pointless. They’re not even running your distance.

Comparison requires the same event, and almost nobody is in yours. Different resources, different obligations, a different definition of what winning even means; measuring yourself against that produces a number with no meaning attached. It still feels precise, which is what makes it so hard to drop. Most of the anxiety comes from treating unrelated lives as a scoreboard.

Work out what your distance actually is, in specific terms, then check your pace against that. When you catch yourself measuring against someone, ask whether you would want their entire schedule. The answer usually settles it.