Dating someone is choosing what your normal will feel like. Pick a normal you’d actually want.

Relationships set the background temperature of ordinary days, and background is the part you stop noticing. Whatever happens regularly becomes your baseline for how being treated feels, and you calibrate to it without deciding to. A person is not just who they are on a good evening. They are what a random Wednesday is like with them in it.

Think about how you feel in the hour after you have been together, not during. Calm and a bit more yourself is a good sign. Bracing or performing is worth noticing, and it is information rather than a verdict.