Groups that run on cutting people down never make an exception for you. Everyone in the room is doing the same arithmetic: if that is how we talk about somebody who is not here, this is how I get talked about when I am not. The habit spreads, and eventually it circles. Nobody announces the turn, you just notice the tone one day.

Track how you talk about people for two days without trying to fix it. If most of it is complaint, change one conversation rather than your whole personality.