Whoever you complain with slowly becomes whoever you think with.

Shared complaining bonds people quickly, which is why it is so easy to build a friendship out of it. The problem is that you start borrowing the other person’s frame without noticing. Their read on the teacher, the team, the job becomes your default read, and after a few months you are not sure which conclusions were originally yours.

Pay attention to what you believe after an hour with different people. If one group consistently leaves you more cynical than you arrived, that is useful information. You do not have to drop anyone, but you can change what you talk about.