Ask what your behavior contributed before assuming contribution means blame.

Asking what you contributed does not require concluding that you were at fault. Contribution is a description of causes, and blame is a moral judgment, and mixing them means people avoid the first to escape the second. You can look honestly at your part without indicting yourself.

After a conflict, try listing what you did that shaped the outcome, with no moral loading attached. Just causes. It is a much easier list to write, and far more useful for changing what happens next time.