The faster you defend yourself, the less you actually heard.

A defence that arrives instantly was already written. It was waiting before the criticism finished, which means you spent the whole time getting ready rather than taking anything in. That speed feels like confidence from inside and reads as a closed door from outside, and either way you learn nothing from the exchange.

Notice the urge next time somebody tells you that you got something wrong. Let them finish, then say you want to think about it. You are allowed to come back tomorrow with your answer, and sometimes you will not need one.