Thank the people who were strict with you. They were building something you couldn’t see yet.

Standards held on your behalf feel unfair while they are happening, because the benefit lands years after the irritation does. The coach who made you redo it, the teacher who would not take it late, the manager who sent the work back, most of them were spending effort they did not owe you. Later you notice you are carrying something they put there.

If somebody like that comes to mind, tell them what stuck. Not every kind of harshness was care, and you are allowed to know the difference. The ones who were building something tend to feel different in memory.