Mercy is giving someone the second chance you were quietly hoping for yourself.

Mercy costs something precisely because you know what you would want in their position. The second chance you are deciding whether to give is usually the one you have privately hoped for on a bad day. Recognising that changes the question from whether they deserve it to whether you actually believe in it.

Think of the person you have been keeping at arm’s length for something they did. Give them the version of the response you would want, once, without a lecture attached. Then notice that it did not cost you what you thought it would.