The way you talk about your ex is a preview of how you’ll talk about the next one.

People listening to you describe an old relationship are not learning about that person, they are learning about you. What comes across is how you handle disappointment, and whether anyone gets to leave your story with their dignity. That is why somebody new tends to go quiet when the description turns vicious. They are picturing their own turn.

You are allowed to say it was bad and that it hurt. Say it without cataloguing every flaw for an audience. Keeping the details for one close friend instead of the group chat is the whole difference.