After one mistake you talk to yourself like a rival coach. Your best friend would never get that treatment from you.

After a mistake, the voice you turn on yourself would end a friendship if you used it on anybody else. It is not honesty and it is not high standards, it is a habit, and it usually makes the next attempt worse rather than better, because you are now performing for a hostile audience inside your own head.

Answer yourself the way you would answer your closest friend after the same mistake. Not softer on the facts, just civil about the person. Then do the practical repair, which is the part the harsh voice always skips.