Most of your self-image was built by people who weren’t even paying attention.

A lot of what you believe about yourself came from offhand remarks: a coach in a bad mood, a relative filling a silence, a classmate who wanted a laugh and got one. None of those people were conducting an assessment. They said something in two seconds and forgot it before dinner, and you have been carrying it for years.

Trace one belief about yourself back to where it started. There is often a specific person and a specific afternoon at the bottom of it. Once you can see the source, it stops looking like a fact and starts looking like somebody’s throwaway line.