Quit waiting by the phone for people who only call when their first choice is busy.

Being someone’s backup plan is a position you can occupy for years without ever being told that is what it is. The pattern is in the timing: you hear from them late, on short notice, when something else fell through. That is not a judgment about your worth, it is information about how they organize their life.

Stop holding the evening open. Make your own plans first and let them fit around you if they want to, and do not cancel anything for a maybe. The people who want your time will ask for it early.