Some people cheer the loudest in public and go silent in the DMs. Remember which support was real.

Public support costs almost nothing and can be aimed at an audience as easily as at you. The quieter version, the message when nobody is watching, the person who checked in on a bad Wednesday, takes real attention. Both can be genuine. Only one of them proves anything about how you will be treated when there is no one around to see it.

Keep a mental list of who shows up in private. Then get yourself onto somebody else’s list by sending the message instead of leaving the comment.