A good coach sees the player you’ll be and yells at the one you are. Both are on your side.

Hard coaching only makes sense once you know what the person is aiming at. They are correcting the distance between where you are and where they think you can get, and the volume usually tracks how much they believe in the second part. That is uncomfortable and it is not the same as being disliked. Indifference is quiet.

This does not mean every harsh adult is right, and it does not mean you have to accept cruelty. Ask whether the criticism came with a next step attached. If it did, take the note and leave the tone.