Learn how fast you react when you’re upset. The gap between feeling and sending is where you get to be wise.

Feeling and responding happen so close together that they can look like one event, but there is always a gap, and the length of yours is something you can measure. Some people fire back in four seconds and some sit on it for an hour. A short gap is not a character flaw. It just means the pause has to be built in deliberately rather than waited for.

When something stings this week, write the reply and do not send it. Come back in twenty minutes. Send whichever version you still agree with.