Selfish people think about themselves all day. Self-aware people think about how they affect everyone else.

Both involve a lot of attention pointed inward, which is why they get mistaken for each other. The difference is direction. One is a closed circle where everything gets measured by what it does for you. The other keeps checking the edges, the place where you meet other people, and asks what it is actually like to be on the receiving end of you.

Pick one interaction from today and replay it from the other person’s seat. Ask what they walked away with. If the answer is uncomfortable, that is the useful kind, and the repair is usually one short sentence.