Watch what people do when it costs them something. That’s the only honest version of anyone.

Being decent is easy when it is free, so free behavior tells you almost nothing about a person. Cost is the filter. When keeping a promise means missing something they wanted, or telling the truth means losing standing, whatever is actually there comes out. Everything before that point is a preview, and previews are made to look good.

Stop reading people by their words and start noticing their tradeoffs. Who stayed when it was inconvenient, who paid for something, who told you the unflattering thing. Run the same test on yourself this week, since your costly choices are the only evidence anyone has about you either.