The listener in the room leaves with everyone’s information. The talker leaves with nobody’s.

Talking feels like the powerful position because it is the visible one. What it actually does is spend your material while gathering none. The person asking questions ends the evening knowing what everyone wants, what they are worried about and who they trust, having revealed almost nothing. That asymmetry decides most of what happens next.

In your next group thing, set a limit on how much you say and spend the rest asking. Follow up on one answer instead of moving on. See what you know at the end that you would not have known otherwise.