Keep your circle small enough that you can trust every person in it with your phone unlocked.

The unlocked phone works as a test because it is concrete. It covers every message you have sent, everything you have searched, every photo you never meant to explain. Most people have a large friend group and a very short list who pass, and the gap between those two is where most of the damage comes from. Knowing the difference is the useful part.

Run the test in your head rather than out loud and see who actually passes. Adjust what you share with the rest instead of cutting anyone off. Then earn a place on somebody else’s list by handling what you know about people carefully.