After anything goes wrong, ask one question first: “What was my part?” It’s never zero.

Even when most of a mess belongs to someone else, there is usually a thread that runs back to you: the thing you noticed and did not mention, the tight deadline you agreed to, the conversation you kept putting off. Finding it is not about taking the blame for everything. It is about locating the piece that is yours, because that is the only piece you can change.

Next time something falls apart, make your own share the first question rather than the last. Write one sentence on it before you discuss anyone else’s. Keep it factual and small, since a fair share is more useful than a dramatic one.