Blaming the ref feels good for a minute and teaches you nothing for a season.

Blame is immediately soothing and completely unproductive. Pointing at an external cause protects the feeling for an evening, and in exchange it removes any reason to look at what you could change, which is the only part that pays anything back. Some calls really are unfair, and that still leaves your part unexamined.

Allow one round of complaining, out loud, with a friend, and then stop. Ask what you would work on if the bad call had never happened, and go work on that.