When your family asks what you want to do, don’t shrink it to sound reasonable. Say the real thing.

Shrinking the answer in advance is a way of protecting yourself from a reaction you have already imagined. The cost is that people end up responding to a smaller version of your life, and you get advice fitted to a plan you do not have. It also quietly trains you to say the modest thing to yourself.

Next time you are asked, say the real answer once, without the softening clause at the end. Let the reaction be whatever it is. You can answer their worries afterwards, and you will be answering them about the actual plan.