Your first draft is a rough cut, not a verdict. Nobody’s grading the rough cut.

A first version is raw material, and judging it by the standard of a finished thing compares two different stages. The disappointment you feel reading it back is almost always a mismatch of category rather than a fair assessment. Every finished thing you admire went through a version its maker would not have shown anyone.

Name the stage before you evaluate. Ask whether the draft did its actual job, which is to exist and to show you the shape, and save real judgement for a later pass.