Cool down before you communicate. A message sent hot gets read by everyone at your temperature.

Heat travels through writing far better than nuance does. Whatever you intended, the reader takes in the temperature first and the content second, then answers the temperature, which is how a small problem becomes a long thread. An hour of delay changes almost nothing about the facts and everything about how they land.

Write the hot version if you need to, then put it away and do something physical. Come back and cut every sentence that is about how you feel rather than what needs to happen. Send the short one that remains.