You are becoming somebody’s memory while worrying about things they will never remember.

A great deal of anxiety is spent on things that will leave no trace in anyone’s memory of you: the awkward sentence, the mistake at work, the way you looked. What people actually retain is how you made them feel over long stretches. The disproportion between what you worry about and what registers is enormous. Noticing it can be a genuine relief.

When something embarrassing is playing on a loop, ask whether anyone will remember it in a year. Usually they will not, because they are busy with their own version. Redirect the attention toward whatever will actually be remembered.