Anger often arrives carrying information wrapped in terrible instructions.

There is usually something real underneath anger. A boundary was crossed, something was taken, someone was treated unfairly. That part is worth listening to. The trouble is that anger does not stop at reporting; it arrives with a plan, and the plan is almost always too large, too fast, and aimed at the nearest target rather than the right one. Keeping the report and discarding the plan takes deliberate effort.

When anger comes, ask what it is protecting. Write that down. Then wait long enough that you can choose the response separately, and check whether the response you land on actually protects the thing you named.