Nobody else can play your position the way you do. Stop trying out for theirs.

Comparing yourself with someone excellent at a different role produces a permanent deficit, since you are measuring against a standard designed around their strengths. The particular combination you bring is not better or worse. It is yours, and it does things their combination cannot do. Chasing their version means competing where you are weakest and abandoning the ground where you are strongest.

Write down what you do that nobody around you does in quite the same way. Build this month around that rather than around your gaps.