Cars are built to crumple so the people inside don’t. Being soft in the right places is engineering.

Rigidity transfers force instead of absorbing it, which is why the strongest-looking structure is often the one that fails worst. Something that gives in a controlled way protects what matters, and that is a design decision rather than a flaw. People work the same way: those who can bend, admit, grieve and change their minds tend to survive impacts that snap the unyielding. Softness in the right place is load-bearing.

Notice where you brace hardest. Ask whether that rigidity is protecting anything or simply passing the force straight through you.